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Soul Crushing

from Soul Crushing by Tucker Osman

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lyrics

These sleepless nights have gotten to me for the last time. It's not that I'll stop having them, but I can start to justify the nasty shit I said to you last night. I can tell you why I did it but that doesn't make it right. I know that I'm afraid of what I don't understand, that's why when I look in the mirror I shake and shit my pants. All the while I can see you reaching out. I try best to call out to you but my voice won't make a sound. The gripping fear is fake enough to call me on my shit. Nothing lasts forever because forever doesn't exist. I wanted to believe that you all left me, when really it was me who had left you. And they aren't lying to you when they say you can't go back which makes sense to me from your point of view. I got a Groupon for therapy and that shit didn't help because all she told me was to lie to myself. I've disappeared into a cave and missed my chance to start again but now I can't trust myself to tell the truth again. I told you to believe me when I said this was a show, 'cause even stones get weathered don't you know? And I hate to say that I told you so! I've stopped caring what time I get home 'cause the silence is distracting when I'm alone. There's nothing waiting for me so I have to make shit up. But sometimes I can't tell if that's enough.

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from Soul Crushing, released September 25, 2020

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Tucker Osman Chicago, Illinois

Tucker thought writing his Spotify bio was hard, but for some reason it's so much harder on Bandcamp. What do you want to know? He's a software engineer in Chicago that occasionally makes music and videos. He has too many hobbies and this is one of them. Send help. This is Tucker speaking. ... more

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